Spooky Thoughts on Why Cannibalism is Better than Sex

The moon is missing from the sky. It’s dark. You’re running through the woods, as fast as you can, willing yourself more than anything not to trip. Don’t fall, don’t stop, don’t take that split second to look and see if it’s still behind you – it is. You’re being chased. It wants you.

Would you rather be eaten alive or fucked to death?

A contrast between the erotic horror of being devoured, or the soullessness of being used as a piece of meat.

Or, imagine you’re the chaser – that you want someone so terribly, you’re willing to consume someone in their entirety, literally destroying them so the only thing they’ll ever think of again is you. Thanks to you, nothing bad will happen to them ever again. No one else can ever have them, or hurt them. Maybe no one needs to be chased at all – maybe the end of their life arouses them; maybe someone is willing to sacrifice their very body to another person, an act of care unmatched. The romance of the redback spider, laying down their physical being for another to use as they see fit.

Someone out there loves you enough to flay themselves for your pleasure. [Raw (2017)]
Cannibalism is a direct, brutally honest functioning of the way so much, if not all, sex (or any kind of power exchange – and to be clear, ALL sex plays with power, but not all of it playfully) plays out: someone takes, and someone gives. At least in the case of eating someone, one person benefits; whereas with sex, on a purely physical level, puts both bodies at risk for disease and/or pregnancy.

The process of eating is a necessity. Sex is not. Eating another person incorporates them into the basic, most everyday practice of staying alive, which may or may not be the most meaningful physical relationship possible – depending on how you feel about life. You’re taking someone inside of you in a process that makes penetration seem pale.  By offering flesh you’re offering part of yourself as nourishment and survival.

Or, maybe you’re coercively taking from your enemy their ability to exist entirely – a feat of competition, strength, and joy that ensures your ability to continue in more ways than one. (What benefit does forced sex actually provide for the rapist? What do you actually lose as a victim?)

Consensual sex is the real horror of It Follows (2014).

Murder is an intimacy we have been denied.

The love that goes into the act of knowing you’ll hold someone’s last moments! Of trusting someone with your life so dearly, you’ll gladly let them take it. Or, if not love, power as a form of intimacy – the raging hard on of knowing you control this person’s life so totally, you decide whether they’ll ever get to breathe again. The wet cunt of knowing you’ve been totally, completely owned and you deserve everything that’s about to happen to you.

And for those who are crying, “Oh, cannibalism is so dangerous and violent!”, let’s not forget that sex very commonly also leads to death! The only reason you lack a healthy fear of penetration is because modern civilized society has sanitized the process with all manner of contraceptives and preventatives (condoms, dams, gloves, spermicide, birth control all at your fingertips – clearly, society wants you to fuck, which is as good of a reason as any not to do so) for all the bacteria, viruses, parasites or sperm waiting to crawl into your genitals. And if you somehow manage to survive the agonizing process of giving birth or even just being pregnant, your body is irrevocably changed in ways that are unpredictable, internal, and life-altering. A small consolation from having your flesh eaten: at least a scar from a bite or a missing limb you can see, understand, or predict… and maybe it’s even a change you lusted after.

There’s really no denying that this is a good look. (Bad Batch (2016)]

Eating your own kind is perfectly normal outside human society. The more closely related your meal is to you, the more closely its nutrient profile will match your needs – making human flesh the healthiest meal you can eat. This also is why so many people fear diseases spreading through cannibalism – however, it might be true that cannibalism actually reduces chances of infection, by directly killing parasites in infected victims and by reducing the number of susceptible hosts. Hence, why most mammals continue the practice despite so many claims that it’s faded for an evolutionary advantage. Cannibalism is as much a function of reproduction as sex: the mothers of rodents, fish, amphibians, bears, cats, dogs, primates, and more eat extra or weak babies they cannot care for; a  newborn caecilian’s first meal is its parents’ flesh.

Really, the only thing sex has going for it is that you can do it more than once. Being entirely eaten alive is a one time thing – truly a moment to be treasured.

What’s more romantic than sharing a meal you hunted and made yourselves? [Hannibal (2014)]

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